Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Jack and Jill Went Up The...

This flash story was written just for fun in response to a writing prompt.  I hope you'll like it.


“The bomb will explode in 60 seconds,” Jack said wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead. The digital counter counted down.

“But we are going at half the speed of light, doesn’t this mean that 60 seconds are more than five years for us,” Jill bellowed grabbing a small vial from the nightstand.

“First of all, stop putting mascara and focus on the bomb,” Jack screamed trying to zip his pants. Unsuccessfully. “Second of all, the bomb is also traveling with us. So that time dilation shit doesn’t apply.”

“C’mon Jack. You are a scientist. Do something,” she said looking at her vanity mirror.

 “Erm...actually I’m not. I am just a janitor on this ship.”

“What?” Jill exclaimed and turned towards him. Her unhooked bra fell on her lap. “I thought you said you were a Chief Excretermination Officer.”

“Yeah. That’s what NASA calls a janitor.”

“Fuck you, Jack.”

“Yeah, you just did. But what should we do about the bomb?” Jack gave a puzzled look at the counter that ticked at 30...29...

“Let’s wake up the scientists.”

“And get fired? No way Jill. Ok...I’ve got an idea,” Jack said looking around the small space pod that served them in their escapades. “Why don’t we detach the pod and escape  from the ship? We can be together for a long time.”

“That IS a good idea. Press that button Jack. The pod will detach.”

Jack quickly pressed a big red button near the door. With a whoosh, the ellipsoidal pod detached from the ship. Jack wrapped his hands around Jill’s waist as they watched the ship going away rapidly.

“Woohoo...fuck you, scientists. You pushed me around long enough.”


“...and now there is no more cleaning your mess anymore...I am a free bird--“


“What baby?”

“The bomb is still in our pod,” Jill said.

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