Sunday, February 14, 2010

I Love You *Conditions Apply


*conditions apply

Dear Biwi,

The love is in the air again. And now having spent another year of “unconditional love” with you, there were some aberrations. Now, being the smart ones of the lot, we should take this opportunity to analyze this past one year rationally and take appropriate measures to ensure improved relationship in the following year.

It’s a fact that I love you but were things in the past year which you did to truly test this hypothesis. I really don’t like it when -

  • You ask me how your new dish was, for which ingredient list contained garlic and saccharine
  • You keep taking me to obscure stores in the malls and I had to look interested
  • When you keep questioning the premise of superman movie – dear how hard it is to “assume” just for 2 hours that someone can fly
  • When you ask me to do some work when I am just about to slay the final dragon of my favorite PC game
  • When you keep giving me driving instructions when you don’t know a thing about driving. And surprise surprise !, you confuse your left and right hands while giving directions.
  • You look perfectly fine in all your dresses. Believe me, nail polish mismatch cannot be noticed (except by other bandis probably)
  • When on one hand you keep complaining about my habits and on other hand mail your friends and tell them how good your life has been with me

I hope you will take all these things in a good spirit and work towards these to make it a perfect ‘Valentine Year’. J



Her Reply

Dear Pati,

I love you too but since you wanted to have a rational discussion, please take these replies positively and constructively. I just want to tell you that-

  • The garlic-saccharine dish was your mother’s recipe
  • I keep pulling you into obscure stores to prevent you from ogling at bandis. You think I don’t notice that?
  • I also find it hard for someone who can totally tell me the scientific explanation of “The Matrix” and watch ‘Architect’s speech’ 20 times to find some logic , finds “Bidaai” and “Yeh Rishta kya kehlata hai” illogical ! How hard it is to assume for 25 minutes that people can really be that dumb ?
  • The work was to get your coffee mugs which I gave you when you were playing your games
  • Why the hell were you checking MY e-mail ???
  • When you write a blog on how things can improve between us when u can actually come to the kitchen and discuss it!

I hope these answers have satisfied your issues. I hope you take them in a good spirit.

Now, come down to the kitchen and do the dishes. Oh and by the way – Happy Valentine’s Day J


Tumahri Patni


  1. good one bro...the signs of you being a married guy have already started showing up...:D

  2. Thanks man. Just for clarification - both sides of the arguments were written by me (approved by biwi of course!). And some of the events were fictional. It will be good fun for you to guess which ones :D.

  3. haha..awesome post vaibhav!! btw specially second part se ye evident hai how well u understand the sentiments of your wife! better start acting on those instructions :D

  4. too gud bhai...
    bhabhi n u are juz fantastic...n along wid tht ur grt sense of humor too...

  5. @Priyam - I am always trying to "act" on those instructuctions. But she can always tell when i am pretending :D

    @ankita and vaibhav - "Tragedy for one is comedy for other" :(

  6. pinjre ke panchhi re!! tera dard na jaane koye!! tera dard na jaane koye!!

  7. Nice one bhai...

    always good to read it from ur viewpoint, kinda reflects your soft and warm personality that u always had :)

  8. hehehe:) too good..
    Love you guys..
    happy arguing..

  9. Hey VT, Hi Ranu :)
    btw, VT in case Ranu had not approved the blog, i know you would have still posted it..just to see her reaction :P

  10. bloody beautiful..
    and scary too..

  11. thakur ye haath mujhe de de :) awesome dude, simple humorous and funny...u rock

  12. @anand - aag ka dariya hai aur doob ke jaana hai :D

    @shweta and parmar - Thanks guys :)