Monday, April 28, 2014

Five Years Later...

Dear Biwi,

One must wonder how it started; everyone does - now and then. Everyone asks “what-if” now and then. I imagine, however, that married men do wander less in ‘now’ than ‘then’.

Marriage for a man, and I say this with a biased sample size of one, is a leap of faith. And a big one at that. Therefore it’s natural that years down the line when he is completely changed, he asks those ‘what-if’ questions. I do too, and gladly none of those ‘what-if’s are better than ‘what-is’.  If parallel Universes are a thing, then I pity all the other Vaibhavs who did not end up with their Ranus. I found mine and that’s what made this Universe more worthy for Vaibhav to live in.

I can never absorb in entirety that it’s been five years since that shy boy married a simple & complex girl. Five years of Joys and sorrows, laughs and tears, smiles and frowns, hugs and fights, triumphs and debacles, with you were just the beginning of the journey. People strive for better times; I simply hope that next fifty will just be the same.

Happy Anniversary Dear!


P.S. Sincere thoughts (above) are always stalked by notorious ones.  As you begin to read other light-hearted perspectives below, remember that these notorious ones just followed me – I didn’t create them J

A Consultant’s Perspective

Dear Wife Inc.

I am happy to pronounce to our stakeholders that in FY’14 our partnership has completed five years of mutually benefitting engagement. During these extremely enriching and prosperous years, we have leveraged our pragmatic solutions to ensure a dynamic and yet stable co-existence. The synergies of this joint venture, I trust, have brought quantifiable value to each other’s organizations.

Additionally, we have (you have) restructured a lot of malpractices in the said organization with a willing (unwilling) participation. I am happy to report that TOFI1 has reduced from 93% to almost zero in these five years, while enhancing our CWAC2 to almost 100%. These two numbers are testimony to the new strategic direction we embarked upon five years ago under the eminent leadership of Wife Inc.
1 Towel On the Floor Index
2 Consent Without Agreement Coefficient

I am delighted to highlight that we have managed to stay ahead of the curve while showcasing significant reconciliation abilities.  I encourage you to take a look at the graph below for a comprehensive view of our market position.

Lastly, I want to conclude by saying that next few years will be crucial to the partnership as we enter into a growth phase and any remnant malpractices of Husband Inc. are taken care of. 

 A (wannabe) writer’s perspective

I still remember that evening. A crescent moon shone high in the sky, drenching the city of Gurgaon in its milky light. The nocturnal hubbub of the millennium city gave way to soothing melodies of hindi classics played out on old radio of the chowkidaar.  The pleasant late evening breeze adorned us as if celebrating our togetherness. The lines of shrubs on either side of the brick road shuddered against the breeze with a harmonious chirp. With some hesitation, looking into my eyes, you uttered those three magical words which marked the uncharted and unknown for me. Three simple words, which on their own carried little meaning but when spoken together ushered a powerful paradigm changing message. The fact that they were solely meant for me, aided immensely to its power.

“Gas Tanki Khatam” still resonate in my mind as if it was just yesterday. My heart skipped a beat and I gulped as hard as Rahul Gandhi would have, had he been asked to operate an electric toaster.

I had nodded, I remember, and continued to do so to your further utterances while I tried to figure the firsts which were yet to come. I began to realize the meaning of my own words “You rock my world,” which I used to throw around half sincerely.  It was as if my subconscious mind was prescient enough to push those words out of me in anticipation of that alien smell of detergent from clothes, earmarked shoe-spaces and dining with Victorian etiquettes.

I have learned so much from you. The point is that, perhaps, I’ve unlearnt even more.  Let me just conclude by saying that a Juliet for a Romeo is what I wanted, but it was a Jane for a Tarzan that I really needed. Thank You “Jane” for everything.

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