A CURIOUS PARTY
Commander 932VIIGZ woke up from her suspension. Her freshly laid eight hundred eggs swung in warm pouch of her skin just below her eye and antenna set that could be approximated as ‘head’ in human terms. 143XIIFX waited for her patiently as she made her way to the console. 932VIIGZ was three levels above him and lot more experienced in extraterrestrial zoology as made aptly clear with miscellany insignia on all eight of her shoulders. Had she not been his superior, he’d wait for her all the same as colony’s consciousness decided that he must do so.
“What kind of unusual activity, FX,” she said, addressing him with his informal name.
143XIIFX’s tense muscles became visibly relaxed but the concern in his voice remained. “There seems to be a global celebration in the System SOL Y47 Planet C. I suspect a planetary breakthrough event, Chief. But this one is without any other symptoms.”
Y47 Plant C. She remembered that one. Third planet of an average-sized middle-aged yellow star. A primitive planet locals called… what was that name… and colony’s shared memory came to her rescue… Ah -- Earth. A curious planet with curiouser dominant species. Technologically not yet qualified to be a member of the broader galaxy but still very close. The entire galactic council watched them closely for they were categorized as quite a dangerous species… for themselves and others.
Commander 932VIIGZ jumped to the console and huge amount of information on planet Y47C got relayed to her… and through her to the hive mind of the colony on their native planet. FX’s assessment was right. Y47C’s dominant species (who called themselves, unpronouncingly, ‘humans’), though incapable of sharing consciousness, seemed to be possessed by mass hysteria and orgy of celebrations. Entire globe was in a heightened state of euphoria and in recreational intoxication. There could only be explained logically by a Planetary Breakthrough as suggested by FX. Good lad that. He could provide good genetic material for her next mating season. She filed a mental note. Back to the current problem now.
“Did they finally achieve interstellar travel, Chief? Shall I activate ‘First Contact’ protocols?” asked FX earnestly.
932VIIGZ had considered that. “Quite possible FX. But no. At least not till we are sure beyond doubt.”
Next few micro-seconds were quite hectic for both FX and GZ. They went through reams of recent data on the planet. Their space-missions, technology broadcasts, medical announcements. But…
“Nothing. I found absolutely nothing,” said FX with exasperation. “I don’t see any sign of recent breakthrough from this species. They didn’t discover interstellar travel.”
GZ agreed. She had seen nothing like this in her observation of hundreds of species that have achieved Breakthroughs. “Did you check if they conquered any major diseases recently? Like… what they call… ‘Cancer’s cure’?”
“Negative Chief.”
“Immortality?”
“Nope.”
“What about better social order? Like complete equality… or… or… elimination of starvation.”
“I double checked, Chief. They still have all those problems.”
GZ’s antennas swung nervously. “But this doesn’t make any sense. What are those ‘humans’ celebrating? What is the cause for this maddening gathering?”
Not even the oldest living Proximans in the colony of 6-trillion possessed the answer. Now, the question was serious enough to wake-up the Queen from her hibernation. She was the only one who survived from cycle to cycle. Entire colony of Proximans waited with bated breath as the Queen stirred from her Preservation and regained her energy, sacrificing some nearby males in the process. Another excruciatingly slow two seconds passed before the Queen could communicate with FX and GZ. FX and GZ hardly caught any sleep during those two seconds and it showed in their swollen eye-set.
Queen’s voiced boomed in GZ’s ears. “What is it that you woke me up for, my child?”
GZ was immediately filled with reverence. But the immediate question was more important. She explained the situation to the Queen.
“Y47C? Hmmmm I am not fond of that planet, but its notoriety makes way into my memories. So, you are telling me that you suspect a planet-wide event from the species’ collective festivities but there seems to be none?”
“Yes, my queen.”
“Let me recall… ah… I am getting something from my memory. I remember this question popping up earlier too… it was perhaps a thousand cycles ago… hmmm… let’s see. Is the planet’s location twenty-three deci-semi-arcs away from its parent star?”
GZ was startled. It was.
Queen could have laughed had it been capable of doing so. For a Proximan, her leg joints relaxed, and her antennas became taut.
“They are celebrating one revolution of their planet around their star,” she announced.
“What? Why? Do they propel the planet using artificial propulsion systems?”
“No no no, my child. It revolves on its own accord. Naturally.”
GZ was thoroughly puzzled. “Then I don’t get it. Why would they celebrate something that is not their doing at all? If the planet is in a stable orbit it is bound to go around. Is that point in planet’s orbit any special?”
“No, my child. The point of reference is completely arbitrary. And not only that… they don’t even wait for their planet to complete the orbit, they consider it complete before the planet reaches their point of reference. And then they make adjustments every fourth revolution.”
“This is strange.”
“It is. This is one thing you must remember about humans. They are logical and intelligent species and yet they make irrational decisions. Their entire planet is irreversibly heating up and yet they put little personal gain over species’ large benefit. In fact, quite a few of them would willingly harm the species to benefit oneself.”
A shiver went through GZ’s spine. “What a horrid thought.”
Queen turned back to her slumber. FX who was quietly listening and working all this while saw something strange on the screen.
“There seems to be a message these individuals are uttering to each other. Again, it doesn’t make any sense at all to me. There is nothing ‘new’ or ‘happy’ in their lives just because their planet has added another revolution to four billion it has already done.”
“What is the message FX?”
“’Happy New Year.’”
(“What a weird species.” GZ thought.)
