Friday, July 12, 2013

Mirror, Mirror...Mirror on the Wall (Revised)

Hello Friends,

I recently got to know that I was missing some key basics in my story writing which were severely limiting my stories. To apply those learnings, i chose to rewrite one of my earlier stories. Mirror, mirror remains my favorite as it has all that I really like - be it sci-fi elements, strong characters, or a nice twist ending.

I really appreciate your comments and feedback and i do take it seriously (this story is an example to that :) ). So, please keep your feedback coming either through comments or you can also mail me at vaibhavthakur@gmail.com

Happy reading,
Vaibhav

*************
“And that was our mistake,” said General Karl and thumped the auto-tray with his heavy fist. He was wearing a gold medallion on his wrist awarded to him during the first inter-planetary wars. It was given to the most valor, and he was the only one who hadn’t received it posthumously.

“That’s something only time will tell, my dear general,” said Senator Shultz.

“And time will remember it as humanity’s biggest mistake. I have seen many wars kid, and even a minion space ranger will tell you that we would have easily won,” said General Karl with the passion of a young soldier. His weathered face showed only a few signs other than aggression and this time the young senator was at the receiving end of it.

“And what you would have done General ‘Crush’? I believe that’s the name they gave you during the first planetary wars. Isn’t it? “

“I would have beamed them and their planet till their last survivor,” replied the general raising his voice and banging the auto tray again. Senator Shultz stared at the medallion as it made a clinking sound against the metallic auto-tray. Though he was one of the recent University grads who were called for mandatory planetary civil service after the war, he was the brightest of the lot. He now held the coveted position in OEC - One Earth Council, and even negotiated the truce with the Reptilians.

But now, even with all his diplomatic skills, he was struggling to make his point to the general. He tried again - “Reptilians are not humans, General - literally. They don’t understand the philosophy of ‘everything is fair in love and war’ either. They might be the most technologically advanced species, but their morals and ethics can put even best human civilizations to shame. Moreover, it’s very clear that we did not fight fair.”

“Since when aren’t Guerilla tactics fair? All planets used them during the interplanetary wars and it came to be expected.”

“Well to begin with, we were the ones who attacked them first,” said Shultz trying to maintain his calm. “It was our apprehension of their intentions at the time and even OEC supported it. But then they are a peaceful species. They were losing the war not because they lacked anything technologically. They could have evaporated Earth in a jiffy, if they wanted. But they did not. They were only losing the war because war to them is more like a religious ritual. They fight with sacrosanct sets of principles. We looked like savages against them.”

Shultz wasn’t sure that if his arguments cut any ice with the general. In fact, he knew that chances of that happening to the war-monger were really slim. However, he still tried to reason with him. Partly to try and convince the general and partly to convince himself, that truce was the best way for mutual harmony between the two dominant species in the Universe.

“At the very least we got access to the technology like this,” said Shultz waving his hand at the space ship which was now cruising at 3 light years from the solar system.

“That is true General,” said Carine who overheard the conversation while completing her daily scientific log. She closed her visipad and swirled in her rotating chair to face both of them.

“We are perhaps hundreds, if not thousands, years behind reptilians. Just in a few hours, this ship has put us farthest humans have ever been. I don’t know if you have visited the observation deck, but I can bet you a hundred credits that you won’t be able to identify our sun from here. Not only that, this ship can withstand immense gravity and radiation from a black hole. Do you know what that means?”

“It means that they have had hundred Einsteins and Newtons worth of revolutionary cycles. Having spent only hours on just one ship of theirs, Professor Waleton and I have already gathered two lifetimes worth of data. We can just imagine what wonders lie there once we get a visual contact with Cygnus. And if all that knowledge costs some bar table stories for a few generals, then I would happily sacrifice it hundred times over.”

“Whoa, big words for a young lady. I bet you’d even sell your pride for these stupid machines,“ General Karl said while lighting his martian Cigar. “Listen to me both of you – you were playing with space toys when I was blasting the rebel ships in the first inter-planetary war. So don’t tell me what we gained through this ‘deal’ of yours with the reptilians. I was at the frontline about to blast through the last defenses of those slimy animals. You and your senator friend here don’t even know what THAT means. So enjoy your little fishing trip while you can, for another war is not far and this time, we’ll show them who rules this end of the galaxy. ”

Shultz though of replying. And then changed his mind. General went back to smoking his cigar spewing a dense smoke.

 “Speaking of Professor Waleton where is he? I have not seen him since we passed that asteroid belt this morning,” said Shultz.

“I bet he is still buried under his books,” replied Carine.

“Haven’t heard of them before.”

“Oh sorry, sometimes I just forget that I am not in Professor Waleton’s scientific history class,” said Carine with a smile. “Books are ancient artifacts and they were the prime medium of knowledge transfer in the dark ages. They have to be physically navigated to be read. I have tried it once, but darn, that was difficult. Besides, Professor Waleton is one of the last few remaining people who can understand them. That was the reason he was chosen for this expedition. Not many are interested in scientific history nowadays though. I can understand why. It is kind of weird cross between ancient history, science and fantasy. Just the other day Professor was telling me about his ongoing research. It says that human civilization was very primitive once and we evolved from apes. He was mentioning all sorts of mathematics and folk-lore, but I find it hard to believe.”

“That would be an interesting read I am sure,” said Shultz

“Yes, interesting, even if they are just conjectures and theories. But as much as I find the subject of scientific history absurd, I just admire the passion of Professor Waleton. He is kind, knowledgeable, and works really hard despite his age.”

Interrupting their conversation, the announcement system came to life. The mechanical voice of Ship’s computer echoed as an announcement was made.  

“Degree three attention. I repeat, degree three attention.  Hyperjump to the Cygnus sector. Jump in 120 seconds and counting…120…119…118..Please proceed to the control area and gear your space-suits..108…107.”

Everyone scrambled to their specialized space-suits as the countdown progressed. They were specifically designed for hyper-jumps – another gift from the reptilians.

“Professor Waleton, I hope you know how to gear yourself up.” The General mocked the Professor who had just entered the control area.

Shultz saw a disapproving sneer on Carine’s face at those remarks. And he was also sure that same was also noted by the general.

Just about when everyone was geared up, a flash of light blinded them as the countdown reached zero. They got pressed against their suits as the ship passed through hyperspace at blinding velocities. Had it not for the space-suits, the tremendous g-force would have flattened them by now. The flow of time slowed to imperceptible pace in that metallic cocoon as its passengers fell asleep. Few minutes later, as the acceleration reduced, a familiar mechanical voice brought them back to their senses.

“Jump successfully completed. Distance to Cygnus – 1 light year. Distance from Earth – 6000 light years.”

“Whoa…that was quick. If only we’d had a dozen of these ships during the inter-planetary wars..” said General unlocking himself from his space-suit.

“Enough of the war general,” snapped Carine while helping Professor Waleton.
Prof Waleton stumbled to his feet. He was not a ‘field-type scientist’ and mostly spent his time with his artifacts. Shultz felt pity for the elderly scientist. Nuisances of space travel were perhaps too much for the Professor. He made a mental note to help him during their return journey.

“Not a frequent space traveler, Professor? Just try not to move too much for a few minutes,”

“I am all right Senator Shultz. Carine’s kindness is too generous for this old man,” said Professor Waleton

“Anyway, now that we are merely 1 light year from Cygnus, I simply can’t wait to go to the deck.”

“Mother of all sights, eh? Well, that’s what our news people are calling it at least. Then, let’s move to the decks,” said General Karl.

The group made their way through the labyrinth of passageways of the spaceship towards the viewing deck. The viewing deck itself was a large domed chamber meant to give travelers a thorough view of surrounding space. Made up of quartz glass, the deck could rotate on the hull of the ship to give nearly 360 degree panoramic view. It also helped in alleviating the claustrophobic feeling that was common for travelers spending months in space.


Soon, the group was standing in front of the main viewing window, which looked over the infinite blackness betrayed by the distant pin-points of light. Carine watched discontentedly as General Karl lit another cigar and puffed the irritating smoke.

“Computer, reorient the dock towards Cygnus and open the panels” – ordered Carine.

“Request confirmed” – replied the mechanical voice.

A few seconds later, the panels opened to the greatest marvel the human eye had ever seen. A huge accretion disk of glowing matter rotated around a small black dot at the centre. Near the centre itself, the gravity distorted the nearby space. As the material from accretion disk fell into the black hole, attaining enormous velocities, bursts of energy in form of electromagnetic rays, were ejected into the deep space. Some of the jets spanned several light years. Though, most of them had read in the mission briefings on what to expect, the grandeur of biggest forces of nature humbled each one of them. Even the General stood silently trying to grasp the enormity of the nature’s wonder.


“This is the Nature’s most powerful creation. That accretion disk would be touching Jupiter’s surface if this were our solar system. Each teaspoon of black hole’s material is heavier than our whole planet. In fact, technically it’s density is infinite,” said Professor Waleton.

It’s pitch black at the centre. Isn’t it?”exclaimed Shultz.

“Because Senator, that thing at the centre has such immense gravity that even light is unable to come out of it. And since light is the fastest thing in the Universe, nothing gets out of the black hole. It’s not simply a dark region in space but far more than that. It is absolute nothingness. The ultimate singularity if you may. In fact, even the laws of physics, otherwise universal, do not hold inside that thing, “replied Professor.

“And imagine General, “ Carine interjected.  “Our ships can not survive for a minute in these extreme conditions. Thanks to the reptilians, we are the first humans ever to watch a black-hole directly at such close quarters. Reptilians may not be advanced in warfare but they put their resources on things that really matter.”

“Yeah, whatever,” said General said while sitting on a corner chair at the dock and pulled out another cigar.

“Don’t worry about him Carine. He simply can’t accept the fact that the power of nature is something to be feared of. It’s beyond him anyway. Moreover, I don’t think he will be able to ever accept the supremacy of Reptilians. You please focus on your readings.” – advised Waleton.

“You are right Professor, let me get started by environment scan. And by the way, don’t you have to take readings too?” said Carine while taking out her visipad from her bag

“I should learn to use one of those things,” said Waleton staring at her visipad. “But I guess I am too old for that now. Historic Science studies do not involve taking readings from those modern instruments. I’ll just make some basic observations for future reference. I hope you won’t mind sharing those readings with me later in case I need them.”

“Of course not Professor,” said Carine smilingly. “I’ll start on my readings right away then.”

“Computer, start a space scan on primary wavelengths. Direct all the other instruments at the core of Cygnus…”

As Carine and Waleton got busy with their readings, Shultz walked towards the general and took a chair next to him. As both men watched the majestic sight of the black hole, Senator Shultz reached for his visipad.

“And what do you intend to do with that?”- asked general who gave a fleeting glance to the visipad.

“We all have our own assignments on this mission general. I may not be a scientist but I too have to do my analyses of the situation. Information is as important to politics as tractor beams to warfare. And you too should prepare something – you’ll be a space hero for the news channels once we get back - one of the first humans to see a black hole this up close.”

General Karl ignored his advice but continued to stare at the fireworks at black hole. Shultz went back to his visipad and started making some notes.

Suddenly Carine’s urgent outcry echoed through the deck. As Karl and Shultz rushed to her, she was looking at her visipad and shouting at the ship’s computer. Prof Waleton stood beside her, trying to cope up with some numbers on the screen.

“That is simply impossible Computer. There must be an error in your instruments,” said Carine at the top of her voice.

“I considered that. And all our systems are working fine. All observations are verified,” said an unperturbed voice.

“What happened Carine. Is there a problem?” inquired Shultz.

“I think there is. Computer, repeat your results of environmental scan,” ordered Carine.

“Cygnus system. Distance – one light year.
System classification – Black Hole
Mass – 8000 M0
Known Planets – None
Artificial objects – One hyper-drive grade B ship
Distance – 2 AUs”

“How the hell there is another ship in the Cygnus system? Senator, did OEC approve another expedition to Cygnus?” asked Carine.

“No. Not at all. We don’t send back-ups on scientific missions. There were many planetary associations who wanted their representatives on this prime mission, but obviously, we can’t let everyone on these reptilian ships,” replied senator.

“General. Do you know of any approved military missions in this area.”

“Dear, dear. I guess you did not hear the computer thoroughly. That’s a grade B ship – similar to ours and the military has not yet been given access to these babies yet. I tell ya’ these are reptilians ships ready to blast us off.”

Carine and Shultz chose to ignore the last sentence of the General. Prof Waleton was already lost in an old book he’d brought from his study room.

“Carine, is there a way we can have a visual at the ship and probably try to communicate with it? If the ship is similar to ours then surely they are also aware of our presence,” asked Shultz.

“Hmmmm….i think that’s a very good idea Senator. Computer, deploy the ATS (arrayed telescopic system) and focus on our companions. And I want its feed on screen 3.”

A few minutes later a large screen on the side walls of the deck came to life. It showed a small patch of the accretion disk in the background but the object in focus was what concerned everyone. A few gasps were heard around the room. It was a hyper-drive enabled ship nearly identical to theirs – the ship was oriented towards the black-hole and was moving away from them.

“So much for the peaceful reptilians eh?” quipped the General. “They are gonna fry us here in space or take us hostage.”

“Just stop it general,” replied Shultz, “even if it is a reptilian ship it could be on a scientific mission just like us. And there is no reason for any alarm.”

“Actually, senator there is,” interrupted Carine. “I am not sure why reptilians would travel half way around the galaxy, which is 40,000 light years by the way, to study a black hole when they can study dozens of them in their own neighborhood. I hate to admit it but I think we should consider all the options including those of the General.”

“I am telling ya’ guys what happened. When reptilians gifted us this ship they have planted a bloody tracker on it. This is where they take the revenge of their defeat. Now, if you all are sufficiently convinced then I will be in-command of this ship for the rest of this mission.”

Carine and Shultz looked at each other and realized that their peculiar situation indeed demanded General to be in charge.

“Fine general, but only as long as you don’t do anything too fancy,” consented the Senator.

“Relax Senator, this is nothing more than a drill for me. And anyway, they are still oriented away from us. We still hold the element of surprise. Computer, this is General Karl and now I am the commander of this ship.”

“Awaiting your orders commander,” replied the computer.

“Move 1 AU towards the reptilian ship. Keep me updated about its position and arm the ship with whatever weaponry you have on board.”

“Affirmative.”

Carine and Shultz stared silently at the screen as the ship moved towards the reptilian ship. Prof Waleton was still immersed in his books seemingly oblivious of the whole situation.

General ordered – “Computer, tell me the coordinates.”

“One hyper-drive grade B ship, distance – 2 AU. Relative velocity – zero.”

“So they are keeping the same distance from us. I think they know we are here. But I am gonna fry them anyway. Computer, enable the full thrust and double our acceleration. This time they won’t escape us.”

As the ship’s computer steered towards the reptilian ship with increased thrust, everyone gaped in surprise.

“What in the name of space is happening,” exclaimed Karl.

The reptilian ship has moved in sync with theirs. It was as if reptilians were taunting them to follow them towards the black hole.

“It is indeed peculiar,” whispered Carine to Shultz. “It looks as if the reptilian ship knows how much and when we are going to move. They must have some other advanced tracing technologies which we are not aware of. Probably, the general is right in saying that they have a tracer on our ship. But still I don’t understand how their maneuvers are so instant. Anyway, I really don’t know what General is planning now.”

“Listen everyone,” said General Karl approaching towards Carine, Shultz and Professor Waleton. “We don’t have any other choice but to use firepower now. I am ordering the computer to use the plasma beam. It will rupture the hull and will not give them time to respond. I tell ya’ its gonna be all over before those slimy creatures even know it…”

“General, I understand that you have the some diplomatic privileges on the mission, but being a senator, I can still enforce on you to listen to the suggestions of those on-board. And of course, your decisions here will be reviewed in the OEC where you’ll have to defend your actions. Your act of aggression can jeopardize our relationship with the reptilians.”

“Look Senator, they don’t have any business being here. This bloody black hole is only 600 light years from Earth… and that’s my back-yard on a galactic scale for godsake. I know we have not decided upon our galactic borders yet, but by any measure, I consider their ship to trespassing into our flight space. And I am within my right to defend it.”

“And now I am ordering the computer to engage unless these science geeks have anything to say.”

“Wait general. That won’t be necessary,” said Prof Waleton; unexpectedly. He raised his head from the books he was reading. He rose from his seating fumbling to stand as he carried a visibly heavy book in one hand. Carine rushed to give him support.

“I think I know what is happening here,” Professor continued with a confidence in his voice for the first time in the mission. “But to understand it, you all need to know some background first…a scientific history background. Even you Carine, probably don’t know this. In fact, no modern scientist can explain all of it.”

“I don’t have much time old man. Don’t try to stall me and make it quick,”said the general impatiently.

“Well…well…let me start from the beginning then.”

“You all might know about the dark ages of humanity….the time when humans inhibited only one planet. It’s only about 6000 years ago when we ventured out to other space colonies and planets. Now, all the technological progress and events after that time are well documented, as the first settlers kept their daily logs religiously. Something similar to what Carine and Shultz were doing today. So, 6000 years of inter-planetary history and progress of their individual civilizations is very well documented. All planets except one – the Earth. Earth is the birthplace of all humanity. Though, not many people respect this, and it’s often reduced it to a scientific history factoid. Very few people pursue these subjects nowadays. Afterall, who wants to waste their time in digging out a history of a single planet when there are hundreds out their to explore. But few do…and even fewer like me try to dig out Earth’s history before the space age era.”

“I wonder if this history lesson will help us make any decisions right now,” said the General angrily.


“My apologies General. I am just trying say that Earth’s history before that of planetary colonies is unknown. But we can get a glimpse of those ages in these ancient artifacts called books. These books give us some understanding of our ancestral single planet civilization. Even I am not sure about the exact progress of mankind during those days but there is one thing which is strongly differentiates that from the current age.”

“Carine, can you please quickly tell us the normal procedure pertaining to scientific discoveries.”

“Surely Professor. Currently we have observation and experimentations colonies based on seven bodies in our solar system – including planets, asteroids comets etc. The scientists continually look for new observations and phenomenon using advanced simputers and robots. When any such new phenomenon is observed, exhaustive experiments are conducted to get all the data sets possible. Then new theories are devised to explain these observations and the process goes on.”


“Very well Carine. In short, we observe a natural phenomenon, gather all data and try to devise theories which can fit those data sets.  So basically theories are followed by observation. And this is obvious, as we have very advanced laboratories which can churn out enough data to keep millions of scientists occupied for centuries.”

“But that was not always the case. In what we called dark ages, humanity did not have advanced enough technologies. This severely limited their capability to get any kind of observation they wanted. Hence, their scientific progress took the path the other way round. Scientists used their own powers of deduction and reasoning, following a chain of logical arguments, arriving at theories first. These theories remained untested as technologies sometimes took decades to catch up.

It was a slow process of course, but it worked. However, once in a while some theories were so  were so much ahead of their time that observation could only follow centuries later.” Professor sighed. “…and in this case it took a theory to be tested only 9000 years later.”


“I don’t see how any of that could relate to our situation right now and I am losing my patience Prof Waleton. Please tell us what you want to say at the earliest moment else you can continue giving your lectures to Senator and Carine while I blast that reptilian ship” –said a visibly irritated General


“I hope you listened to what I just said General. I’ll say it again – what you are looking at right now was predicted more than 9000 years ago,” Waleton said while pointing his hand at the screen which was now focused on the reptilian ship.


 “Remember we discussed earlier that the gravity of the black hole is so immense that not even light passes escapes from it. Well, that’s the reason it looks black. But one thing which we haven’t theorized, because of lack of observation of course, is that it can also bend light. According to the book I have here, an ancient scientist predicted that at distance sufficiently farther away from black hole, light can be bent so much that it can go around it in a complete circle.”

 “My dear General,” he weighed his words as he now looked intently at the neighboring ship on the screen.

“…on that screen…we are looking at our own ship.”

Sunday, April 7, 2013

A (Non) Social Experiment


A (Non) Social Experiment

I have been observing something for a long time now – too much facebooking, ndtv-ing, economist-ing, and many more how-the-hell-i-got-here ing during my day. Whenever I get stuck or get bored, I simply go on a browsing rampage. And the worst part was that I am susceptible to doing it especially when I am stuck at a particularly challenging task at my workplace. Checking news or other websites is a getaway excuse.

In fact my typical one hour itinerary on computer typically involves these key words (mostly parallely) : gmail, ndtv, cnn-ibn, work, the economist, back to work, xkcd, what-if xkcd, facebook, work, cracked, Wikipedia, cnn-ibn – and the loop iterates again

At the end of the day, I am neither wiser - personally or professionally nor healthier -mentally or physically.

I agree these give me a super healthy dose of information and entertainment and I am able to talk on any current event across the world with anyone. But at the end of the day I end up adding to the pile of garbage in my head because information on facebook mostly includes people venting out their anger against the government (including me) and random updates of their daily lives – which is okay but trying to keep abreast of daily lives of 500 people is definitely an information overload. And news portals mostly involve reading news of another rape in Delhi, some faux pas by another minister, another scandal somewhere, tid-bits of bollywood gossip, some misadventures of mamta di and so on- which simply makes me more frustrated and angry and it lingers in my mind for a loooong time.

Secondly, I have not been a fan of multi-tasking which was a norm in doing all this. I consider myself as a mono-task person. I like to focus on one, only one task for at least couple of hours. Or at least I used to. This habit of clicking on favorite links breaks the rhythm of whatever I am doing and stops me from doing the best job of the task at hand – work or otherwise. My attention span has gone down drastically.

So here is the deal – From today, 24th Mar 9 AM onwards I am going on an information black-out for 7 days. And I mean complete information black-out.

Objective
To improve the following three things
  • o   Work Productivity – Doing more work with better quality (and in less time)
  • o   Family Time – Finding more time for life. Get in touch with friends, relatives etc
  • o   Personal Time – Reading, Writing, Exercise, Astronomy

Compromise
To give up on following things for a week
  • o   Facebook (That’s a big one)
  • o   News websites including but not limited to ndtv, ibnlive, the economist
  • o   Entertainment websites – xkcd, what-if xkcd, cracked, fakingnews
  • o   Television
  • o   Newspaper
  • o   Wikipedia – will not use it for anything other than strictly pertaining to essential work

So here we start – I’ll be keeping a log on daily basis. To quantify my feelings, I’ll be rating myself on two parameters every day
 Urge to open websites (UOW) – On the scale of 1-10. Lower the better. Also corresponds to urge to open newspapers, television etc
Feeling of Freedom (FOF) – On the scale of 1-10. Higher the better. As I said earlier anything and everything I read, it lingers in my mind for a long time. Especially the corruption and crime simply makes me a bit angry and depressed. FOF will capture my mental state of “freeness” .

So here we go!

Day 1
Sunday, 24th Mar 2013
Update 0 (10 AM) : Ok, so lets do this. I am pretty excited right now at the prospect of finding truckloads of lost time. But I know its going to be very very difficult.
 The first step I take in the morning is to delete all the bookmarks. Second I prepare a small list of alternate stuff which I could do when I find myself twitching to for my daily dose – Asimov’s Novel (I’ll have to order a new one), writing, going on a walk, call family and friends, read dailygood.org websites, do some work-related stuff. I have also added other constraint in the list – I’ll check my personal mail only once per day.

Update 1 (2PM): Its been only 4 hours and its already gotten strange. I found myself roaming around the house with nothing to do. I found it most difficult to avoid TV and newspaper esp this being a Sunday morning. My mom thought that I was avoiding her (she was watching laughter station in tv) and had to explain her everything. She must think I am weird (if she did not think so already!)
Also, I am wondering at what happened to some ongoing events which I was following –What is happening in Italians marines case, did Arvind Kejriwal break his fast, is SP continuing to support UPA or are we heading for mid-term elections, are Mumbai’s rowdy MLAs who beat up a cop in the assembly getting the treatment they deserve, did I get enough “likes” at my facebook post declaring my hibernation;  are only some of the questions which are leaving me at the cliffhanger. I find myself a bit lost as I’ll only get these answers one week later.
On the positive side – I played with my kid, gave some computer funda to my mom as she is trying to learn some basic stuff, took an early bath (by Sunday standards) and now planning to write something.

Update 2 (7 PM): Could not write much today – maybe just couple of paragraphs. Perhaps its not the lack of news or facebook that’s bothering me but the lack of option to open them. To sail myself through the evening, I watched  The First Grader – a very awesome movie. Though movie was not too long, some interruptions ensured that I could finish it only by 5 PM. Played with my kid again in the evening and now I plan to do some household stuff. Its not looking so bad right now without facebook or news. But still its lingering somewhere at the back of my head.

Update 3 (10 PM): Well, last three hours passed relatively easily. Went to nearby market with the family and after returning back, went out for a stroll. I do take it often but today seemed different. My mind seems blank as there are not too many things to think about. But yes I do miss India at 9 at IBN LIVE.
I am thinking a lot about not opening the sites that feeling of freedom is probably negative
Urge to Open Websites (UOW) = 6/10
Feeling of Freedom = -1/10
Day 2
Monday, 25th Mar 2013
Update 1 (3PM): Working from home today. Morning started being very difficult. Having no clue about the world where I used to keep an hourly track, makes you …disoriented. At least 5 times since morning I have opened the browser only to realize that I can’t open any website. Felt uneasy all through the morning. At 11 AM thankfully some urgent work came my way which kept me engaged till now.
But one thing is clear to me now – browsing all those news websites and surfing facebook etc is an addiction in a very real sense. You feel uneasy, you feel as if something is lacking from your life and you crave for it. We could have called this experiment as rehabilitation.

Update 2 (9PM) : We had a breach captain !! Ok I am still not sure how I ended up on this website of Eve online (honest) .Ok I was able to do a bit of work but I am still not feeling that I am saving any additional time for myself. Had an early dinner as had nothing to do and then went for a walk. Well, there is at least one positive for the day.
Urge to Open Websites (UOW) = 7/10
Feeling of Freedom = 0/10

Day 3
Tuesday, 26th Mar 2013
Update (10 PM): What a weird day it was friends. My family left for the native so I was alone today. Its way too quiet. I could notice things which I did not earlier. The calls from vegetable vendors, noise from neighbors.
If something justified breaking the experiment, it was today. On such days, I would usually turn on the tv and work in parallel. To break the melancholy, ordered a pizza but soon it got unbearable. Its too darn quiet. And my mind is too blank. I had to use the fall back option and watched The Avengers.
Evening was even more tricky so went for a looong walk for a good 1.5 hrs while talking to some friends and wished them holi. No facebook to wish them there. Day ended with few episodes from Whose Line Is It Anyway. I guess I am breaching the spirit of the experiment here but can’t help but watch some episodes to lift the mood.
I noticed another thing though – when I were idle earlier, I used to think about witty quotes for facebook.It was in fact happening by itself.
UOW – 10/10
Feeling of Freedom 2/10
Day 4
Wednesday, 27th Mar 2013
Update 1(11 AM): Wow what a morning it was. After a nice sleep , woke up early to catch the nice morning breeze. Things are running slowly for me today. I believe this is how village folk feel like.
I realized another thing - my life was not fast because of what I was running for. But because of what all I was thinking about.
Mind feels so clutter free. I am having this new feeling althgether which I can’t describe. I don’t feel angry or sad anymore which was my permanent state reading about all those crimes etc. But the thing is I don’t even feel happy even. I feel ….neutral and its very peaceful.
Traveled to office while listening to these soothing tracks. Link 1, Link 2.  I don’t wish anything right now. Its so much peaceful. After reaching office I felt like writing stuff and did the same. It came out beautifully. I wish everyday could be like this.
Office cafeteria though poses a bit of a challenge – it has two large TV sets at the opposite ends such that you are always facing at least one. Read the word “Kejriwal” while drifting the glance. This caused a bit of concern though – is he still on fast, or this one is another expose?
But anyway, today I am not going to spoil this feeling for anything.
Btw a thought came to my free mind– do we need pop-spirituality in this era? Some small nuggets of wisdom for getting at least few minutes of tranquility every day? Like the feeling I am carrying right now.

Update 2( 8PM) : Continuing that amazing tempo, I could finish lot of office work by 4 PM. Traveled back home and took some office calls till 7 again. But again I am getting this disturbing silence all around me. Just want to turn on the tv for the heck of a sound. Will be sleeping early.
Note: I did not. Had my mobile play some long videos just to fill the void and finally slept at about 1 AM.
UOW – if you just ask about the morning. I’d say 0. But averaging out for the sad evening it’d be 6/10
FOF – Again, for morning 10/10 but on average its 6/10. Still a pretty big improvement I’d say



Day  5
Thrusday, 28th Mar 2013
Update (11 PM): I did not get enough time for updates today. I got heavy office work which continued till 9 PM. Morning was definitely pleasant similar to yesterday. Reflected upon lots of high level stuff. And while driving realized some deeper aspects of being happy.
(e.g. There is enough for everyone’s need but not for everyone’s greed- Gandhi. And I realized that how we are running after stuff in order to make ourselves happy. We have tagged our biggest gift – happiness to material and superficial things like cars, money etc. Money can only be a means at best. And even then people doesn’t really know that goals. What if we were to reflect how we would be happy and simply acted on it.)
Wrote till 11 AM and it felt really good. During the lunch, by mistake caught a glimpse of Sanjay Dutt. But I realized that that memory is too distant now and it didn’t really bothered. Perhaps this was the feeling of freedom I was searching for.
Rest of the day went quite peacefully. Evenings get a bit sad though. So I take a walk. Watch friends or Whose Line is it anyway and go to sleep.
And now I can definitely feel that anger and sadness subsiding down. There are only two days to go and I am still not sure whether I have maxed on my FOF.
So here is the decision – I am extending this experiment for another week. This experiment will now continue till 7th April 2013 9 AM.
UOW – 2/10 (still want to know about Arvind Kejriwal)
FOF – 7/10
Day 6
Friday, 29th Mar 2013
Update 10 PM: Could not sleep properly last night so worked from home today catching few naps in between. I guess I am not used to this level of silence. Ears always feel kinda empty. Well worked through the busy day. However, this being Friday felt a sharp urge in the evening to just sit in front of tv with a cup of tea. Also realized that I am kind of missing on The Garbage Bin jokes on facebook. Also – did not get to talk to anyone so essentially feeling kind of isolated. Well, went for a nice walk and just had a shower and planning to read/write something before going to bed. What am I feeling?
Actually a bit relieved overall but I still don’t see that time being utilized back in productive things per say. I am just doing the same things with lower pace. Maybe I have gained some time but don’t realize it as yet. Lets see how tomorrow goes being the first holiday with absolutely no errands to do and no one around.
UOW – 3/10 (Though it was television y’day. Today’s urge was more for facebook’s garbage bin and The Economist – miss you guys)
FOF – 7/10

Day 7
Saturday, 30th Mar 2013
Update 5 PM: Ah I am increasing getting this empty feeling. However the day was good so far. Woke up late and had a leisurely breakfast. Wrote some quality stuff of 1k words and to celebrate it, slept off again. I wish my brain could work at those levels always. Btw there are not too many alternatives to do in this cyber age. Starting the writing again – hopefully my productive run will continue
Update 10 PM: It did – wrote another few hundred words but again I am feeling too – isolated. For tomorrow my friend has asked me to accompany him for his wedding shopping. Guess that is a much deserved break I need.
UOW – 2/10
FOF – 8/10
Day 8
Sunday, 31st Mar
Update 7PM: My friend was here since early morning today. We went for a shopping spree and ended up visiting four different malls. It was nice day overall finally getting to see that bustle. A side observation – what makes people carry such big egos around. This lady in the elevator was so pretentious. And all beans were spilled when she opened her mouth. She was talking to someone – “Tu mujhe jaanti nahi hai” and I was like “Good for her”.
Man, what is happening to this world. Did there exist any correlation between sophistication and knowledge? People carry too big egos and too little substance.
Anyway, since I was out shopping the whole day, I am putting today as an exception and not rating myself on UOW and FOF

Day 9
Monday, 1st April
Update (7 PM): Got up late today but got many things done. Decided to skip commuting and worked from home (again!). Had a brilliant idea in the afternoon and ended up writing a horror short story on it. And it came out nicely. Here it is – ThatOld Bug. Though this is not my genre and I did not like writing it, the end result was good in a kind of creepy way.
I believe that things have not stabilized quite a lot and I am following a fairly uniform routine –
  • -        commute to office,
  • -           write till 11 AM.
  • -          work till 4 PM
  • -          commute back home
  • -          take official calls till 7 PM
  • -          have dinner
  • -          take a walk
  • -          watch friends and doze off


I won’t be updating this log through the week as i think i have found my routine now. And I Love it!



Closing Remarks
Day 15
Sunday , 7th Apr 2013
Final UOW -  0/10
Final FOF – 9/10


In this age of technology and speed of information, one seldom thinks about the utility of such information we are bombarded with every second. We gauge importance of news by how much news channels are hyping it and not by what matters to us as an individual. People say that we should be aware of things which impact us. True. But using butterfly effect we can justify that for nearly anything which is happening in the world – Euro zone falling down, India’s GDP growth at 5% and my cousin’s cousin going on a family outing. Rather, I believe what we should be asking is whether we can make an impact on things around us. If I am so pissed off at corruption then either I should be taking some action against it or simply shut up if I can’t. No one gets rattled by my cribbing posts on facebook.

Similarly, Had my cousin’s cousin was so close in my life that I want to see his all picnic photos– I would be giving him a call every week. Obviously that is not the case. Think about it – how many facebook photos and comments do you remember from a week back? From a month back? From an year back?
I was addicted. I was in all the real sense of the word. And the thing which I did, I realize, was belated, but at least now I realize. Of course, what I tried was a bit extreme; 2 –weeks complete information isolation from the world.
 But today when I opened the newspaper and my facebook page – I realized that I did not miss much. Nothing earth shattering happened in last two weeks. And in return - I gained so much peace of mind. So verdict is simple - now onwards – I will be minimizing my exposure to the all the above things to max 30 mins per day.

I want you to think about the most wonderful memories of your life. I am pretty sure they did not depend upon the sensex or India’s cricket performance on that day (unless you are a stock broker or a cricketer that is).

Here is one small exercise for you - Try to list things in your life that are important to you and another list for things you were spending time on. If both the lists are too different then you are not in control of your life. Go ahead – take control. Start from a blank slate.



Monday, April 1, 2013

That Old Bug


Caution: This story contains some disturbing content. Please do not read if you are sensitive to psychedelic elements.
That Old Bug
It is crawling inside me. Not inside inside…but, you know, under the skin. Just beneath the first layer. Its called epiderm I guess, something I read in a newspaper, or was it on a tv. Ya it would be tv I guess because I don’t read much anyway. Oh I feel it again…its like a ripple going down slowly from my shoulder through the elbow, it pauses at the wrist though. And then from back of my hand to the finger tips. It wants to come out I guess. Oh its putting that pressure again…but it won’t go through. I know. My fingers are tough. I played with the sand a lot in my childhood. Sand makes your hand tough.

Here it comes again..this time its bigger..my elbow nearly swelled this once. But elbows are strong. I don’t know what will happen once it reaches the hand– ah it hurts…its going for the index finger. Its pushing hard…and its swelling. POP! Wow I have two thumbs now. But my husband doesn’t know this. He will be coming home any minute. I must get rid of it. He will not like this. Where are my sewing needles? You don’t see a needle around when you need one. And when you don’t , it lurks around the dark drawers and bites your unsuspecting hand.

There it is. Now its just a matter or making a puncture and diffusing whatever is inside.  But which thumb shall I diffuse. They both look the same. Why this has to be so confusing. He’d be home any minute – think think…oh it should be the same as the left hand. I am so dumb sometimes. Ok so here it is – both palms facing up…left hand’s thumb is on left side. So right hand’s thumb should be the one on the right..so I’ve to diffuse the other one. Good – I have figured it out. I feel so proud of myself sometimes when I deduce something on my own. Ok so here we go…a nice little prick on the finger. Now the blood is coming out. Well its only a small drop…this will take ages. Have to make more pricks. There. There. There...and maybe one there. Nice five pricks – this feels better now. Pressure is releasing. Good. What a relief.

I guess he is coming home. I can hear a knock through the cupboard. Yes dear, I am coming. Ummm…just give me two minutes. Need to ummm..take care of something.

There you are. Did you have a good day at work? No? My, You look thin and dirty as well. I can see your bones. Oh look at that – a small kernel of meat on your cheek-bone. Can I have it? Please we were together for 60 years. We share everything. Don’t we. Please let me have it.

He looks famishing. And tasty. He loves me so much. He can give anything to me. Don’t you think I did not know that. That was the reason I just took it without waiting for his approval, or his consent; or his burial.

Its time and you should go back to work dear. Bye bye. Come home soon.

He is gone now. But I think he does not love me anymore. When we were young he used to take me places. We used to go to fancy restaurants. With exquisite music and food and wine. Ah…the food and wine. I need another prick on my finger. Yes…that tastes like wine. So where was I. Yes- the restaurants. They had nice food there…and grains. Yes g …grains. And we had a nice little home but then my husband had to go to the war. It was crazy. We did not know their weapons or their species. And we lost. And they took all of it. But we survived. You see- my husband loved war. He played war a lot.

But then they took away all the restaurants as well. And then we did not have any place to eat. But again my husband is a darling. I knew he would give me everything. He said that many a times that his heart belonged to me. How come I…a lowly and faithful wife for life, could disobey him. I just took what he wanted me to have. His heart that is. It was tasty.

*********
Some connotations: An old widow of a war veteran is hallucinating and rambling with herself. Her life was devastated by an alien invasion on Earth. Her husband survived the war but starvation ensued. Unable to cope with unbearable hunger she became a cannibal with her husband being probably her first (or maybe recent) victim. She along with her hallucinations is trying to justify her acts. The title of the story can be an allusion to the aliens who attacked earth or the old lady who is now surviving on other’s bodies like a bug.

Author’s Note: This was most disgusting thing I ever wrote. I was wondering about an alien invasion from a view point of a survivor and I don’t know from where but this came out. The story got even more grotesque but I can’t make myself put that on paper.